Love her, Leave her

My Dear Raquel,

I was sitting at the restaurants table, surrounded by family. Only a while ago I succeeded in surprising them as I walked in on my newest member of the family's circumcision party. It was indeed a happy moment, seeing my parents, my brothers, my sister and my grandmother after all this time... if its One thing that I learned during my trip, is that I miss them, and seeing their faces as I showed up unexpectedly out of the blue was worth it.

But there I was, sitting at the restaurants table. Surrounded by my family.
And I was sad. I was so sad.

I felt as if I'm being shoved back into normality... you know... business as usual... However, it was too fast for me, too blinding. People were talking. Some were even talking to me. But I was too busy being sad, And for the first time since we parted Raquel, I cried.

Now I've been trying for a while now to write this post, But everytime I tried depicting my last days in Bangkok with you, I found it... lacking, over and again... How can I explain the bliss I've been sharing with you for those three enchanting days? How can I portray my sorrow for leaving you? How can anyone understand how incredibly deep our relationship was, even though we barely knew each-other? How can I tell you about the way I felt when we touched? The way we could share our thoughts, our past and our future as we were embracing, kissing for hours upon hours as if we were silly teenagers again, relishing on each others lips and never wanting to let go? How crazy would it sound to people to hear that I loved you from the bottom of my heart!? How crazy would it even sound to me?! or how sad I've become for not telling you that simple truth from when I had the chance, looking deeply into those pure glistening green eyes of yours, only seconds before you said good-bye and went your way.

oh, How sad I've become...

They can call it an infatuation. They can call it whatever they like. But it felt so good... so right... so unnatural...
It was beautiful...
You were beautiful...
And you loved me.


I'll never forget you Raquel Faus. You showed me that I can love again.



yours,


Gilad.