Monday, June 9, 2008

Leaving on a jet li plane

It's been a full month already. Acutally, it felt like a whole lot more. The problem was that it wasn't the "whole lot more" I've been expecting, or expected, to do. Ever since the first few days, when I did my little surprising of the family at the circumcision party, it all went downhill. I can actually summarize my entire monthly endavour in one word - Slouching. It was horrible... the days were slipping by so slowly and yet so unnoticed, with me not helping whatsoever to change that... I guess I was depressed. I felt too weak, mentally-wise, to get up on my feet and do something. I was afraid. Afraid to think about the one and only thing that was badgering my delicate unused brain. Maybe I was also afraid I would be happy of the outcome - being happy with someone... with Raquel, that is (for those who aren't well informed).

It all came down to this - the question whether I should go after Raquel and find out if she can be more than just a one time memorable event in my dreary life, or just stay put, forget about her, and regret that decision for the rest of my existance.

Well, I decided to go, of course. It took sometime, I'll confess, mostly due to overclocking my brain with gaming hours and doing whatever I can not to think about it. From time to time, I would ask a friend or a relative for their opinion, but I didn't need their advise, since I already knew what I want... I just didn't have the guts to do it. I much prefered to drown in the lovely world of pixelated figures and plastic guitars.
Luckily, my brother and his wife, who were graciously hosting my bum-like ass, devised a wondrous, efficient way of slapping me into my senses - they enslaved me into work.

Every day I was forced to endure unimaginable hardships, such as, well, washing the dishes! or cleaning the floor for christ sake!
fortunately, it actually empowered me with renewed spirits of some sort, and through that I was able to process my next flight schedule, which eventually led me to China. I knew Raquel would travel there, so I contacted her and informed her I would be joining her there, to see if we can strive to be what we envisioned ourself to be.
So, I guess this is it... I'm off to China. the next post would be from there.


kumi said...

hi g-bar! you look like GENKI ne?
i'm in still Okinawa now.
i finally got diving instructor lisence but i wanna really quite my shit danger job ASAP.
i will back to Hokkaido 7/1.
after that i might move out to Hawaii.
i might be able to get the sales of diving equipment job there.

you saw very very nice your life buddy on the way your journey.
sounds really SWEET, ne!

i hope see you again soon anywhere under the sea!

Anonymous said...

It was nothing more than a bad hair day. My hair is better, usually.


Ayelet said...

Just catching up on your blog. I'm glad we forced you to take some action - and I might even forgive you for posting this HORRIBLE picture of me.