Japan Through These Eyes

Speaking in general about Japan is just wrong... as any modern country, the diversity lies in the region, and the difference is mostly the old urban vs. suburban culture. HOWEVER! I'm not going to let that small but important detail to detain me from station a few of the so called "FACTS" about Japan that I have found somewhat interesting, funny, impressive and bewildering to me.

1. I think that no. 1 should be dedicated to the Pachinko slots. I was surprised to find them in Japan, since nobody told me about them, and I was even more surprised to the simple fact that they are Everywhere! If you are really interested in either a silly way of gambling or a shiny way of becoming stupefyingly deaf, the Pachinko slots are for you.

2. a bit on Manners: As in London, there is the traditional manners concerning stairs and escalators - on normal stairs there are arrows for up and down (which usually nobody cares about), and on the escalators you can stand on the left, but walk on the right.

3. 99% of the cities possess a comfortable sidewalk with a bicycle path. Moreover, there's the intriguing yellow-bricked road for the visually impaired... my belief is that this yellow line is crossing the whole of Japan.

4. Escalators will tell you to be careful while on them. There are also certain vehicles, usually trucks or buses, that will sound off a warning speech while turning left or right.

5. Every bus driver is equipped with a madonna microphone. why? so he can tell you when he's stopping the bus, when he continues to drive, when he turns left or right, and of course, to thank you for dropping off somewhere. I was wondering if one could sue a bus company for not warning before taking a turn...

6. CONBINI - a short-cut for convenient-store (like seven eleven)... almost every conbini is a centre for various payments to the governments and such (electricity and so on) and money transfers to wherever you wish... its also a centre for high-schoolers and students who want to read manga but don't want to pay for it... so they just stand there and read for hours. the sandwiches are not that bad either.

7. Why do many young Japanese women possess crooked legs? it is a good question I've been trying to answer as I was doing my tour... not ALL of them, but some of them have the tendency of sitting crooked legged, with their feet almost facing each-other at a peculiar angle. I wish it would stop at the sitting position, but heck no... they WALK the same way... I've seen some girls who walked with such a disfigure that I almost yelped. so, again with the question of Why... why? I have no idea... my best guess is that its a bad habit which can be stuck, like any bad habit.

8. From Kawai (cute) to Kowai (scary) - The Japanese fashion industry and culture is thriving mainly on the poor young souls of Japans finest... well.. maybe not finest... well... especially those who are not the finest. Anyways, sometimes I, even after staying for 2 months, get spooked by a girl or a boy who defies the law of common sense concerning fashion.

9. SALARY-MAN : this phrase is a Japanese invention, aimed at those formally dressed zombies that work their life out for some pointless gray future ahead of them while missing out entirely the growing up of their children and the radiation of the sun. It sounds scary, and every Japanese knows its a shitty life, but still they pursue it, partly due to the inital push made by their own parents at a young age.

10. Although having a decent job in Japan is tough and demanding, there's the "lighter" side of it, which often occurs at the end of the day (8 frikkin' pm!). Instead of directly going home to see you cherished family, the hard-earning workers are obliged from time to time to join their boss to what you can describe as a geek frat party. They (usually a small group of 3-8) all gather up and find a nice place where they could all get insanely drunk. You can see them if you happen to be in a restaurant or a pub at the same time, all happily drinking, talking about work or whatever, but the fun part is to see them afterwards, wobbling their way home alone in their all too familiar monkey suit and suitcase, totally drunk, while mumbling rude and unintelligible sentences to passing women and foreigners.

11. If you happen to know a bit of Japanese, I suggest that you keep your mouth shut and ask for an english speaker... If they find out you know a bit of Japanese, they will assume immediately that you have read mein-kampf in ancient Japanese and that you write Haiku songs every day at supper.

12. When you buy those sushi roll meals at the super-market or the conbini, just say yes to the first question the clerks will ask you... they just ask you if you want chopsticks to go with it... unless you hear in their babble the words "Pointo-cardo"...

13. Never "try" the food before someone tells you whats in it... you can leave the adventures to other people.

14. One could say Japan is expensive... its definitely not Thailand, but you can always find cheaper places to stay, cheaper food to buy and so on. usually the main problem is the transportation fares, if you are interested in touring Japan. I suggest heartily to consult other people who have been to Japan and know all the little cheap secrets.

15. Find a Japanese friend... apart from the funny english, you can get a lot of help from him, and a lot more information about places.

16. Go to Onsens (public baths)... although from time to time you can bump into a shitty place, the experience is worth it - BUT, you must know the rules (that's why a Japanese friend comes in handy)
a. when entering the onsen, you must ask if they have free shampoo and stuff, or do you have to buy from them... and at least get one towel!
b. When entering the locker room, get your locker, get totally naked, and take the small towel (if you have) with you.
c. Enter the onsen itself, and go directly to the showers. Don't look at other people, because you can be damn sure that they would be looking at you right now. sit down on the plastic bench, and get down to washing business.
d. After washing all the soap and using the small towel as a scrub, you can begin with onsen dipping... just remember NOT to put the towel inside the pools... if you only have one big towel, try not getting it wet, cause you'll need it to dry up afterwards.
e. my own advice - shower and soap yourself at least 3 times... its for free and the feeling is good.

17. Especially in Tokyo, you should be aware of what company of trains and subways you are using... (JR, Metro and so on) since they have 3 or four, exchanging between them all the time would cost you more. Plan ahead and try to use a single company for each ride.

18. Saying NO in Japanese is very complex. For example, if it turns out that they don't have your shoe size at the store, they would say to you: "hmm... it appears that its a little sold"... it varies in many colorful ways... one of my favorites is used especially in the areas of Kyoto - when a host tells his visitors this: "ah, would you like some more rice and tea? I'll go make some right now!" - it actually means: "What the F**K are you still doing in my home, fool?!"

19. in some places, workers will bow to you as you enter. In some places, workers will bow to a train or a bus that leaves. In some places, you can see old men and women with a terrible bended back problem, probably due to over-bowing.

20. No, you do NOT wanna try the salty tasty shrimp and eel chips bag...

21. Homeless people would never ask you for money. Except one. you'll find him in Shibuya. He speaks English quite well, and he really wants you to read his poems...

22. 95% of the TV shows in Japan consist of two themes: Food and funny animals. However, I've never seen a funny animal show with food in it... probably because it takes time to turn the funny animals into food... :)

23. stay away from old ladies in markets and supermarkets... they are down right Insane, and they are not afraid to use their teeth. and also don't mess with them on the bus.

24. You'd be surprised, but the re are plenty of Japanese families with more than 2 kids. But not in Tokyo.

25. I probably forgot somethings, but at least I gave it my best shot. This is...was my last day in Japan, and although I wished to stay longer, other adventures await yours truly. see you in a new world!